Are You Ready for Some Good News?

Posted on September 29, 2020 |

We need some good news right about now, don’t you think?! I know I do!

The good news is… YOU have the power to control your thoughts. Your inner world.

I know, at times it can be SO hard, especially when those negative thoughts keep creeping in and taking over. And gaining strength and momentum. And keeping you awake at 3AM.

It takes time and practice, but it IS possible.

The more you believe this to be true, the easier it will be.
You are more likely to put the time and energy into addressing your thoughts if you BELIEVE that it is a worthwhile endeavor. AND, when you start to feel better (and you will because our feelings are influenced by our thoughts), it makes you want to do it even more. You begin to feel quite powerful.

Here are some simple steps.

1. Notice the feeling. Label it. “This is grief. I am so sad. I am lonely.”

2. Allow yourself to feel the emotion for as long as you need to. Avoid judging yourself for having the feeling.

3. Process the feeling in ways that are helpful for you. Talk to a friend. Seek therapy. Write in a journal.

4. Pay attention to the thoughts that are contributing to or worsening the feeling. This could be thoughts such as, “I’m never going to feel better,” “There must be something wrong with me. Others don’t seem as sad,” “The world is a horrible, scary place.”

5. Address each negative thought and replace it with a positive thought. This is important because negative thoughts tend to gain momentum and spiral out of control. It is hard to just shut off a negative thought, as it has energy. It is easier to send that energy in a positive direction. For example, “I’m never going to feel better,” can turn in to, “I may feel awful today, but tomorrow is another day. I’ve been through tough times before and eventually felt better.”

6. Focus on gratitude. Gratitude is one of the easiest way to change the trajectory of your thoughts, which changes the trajectory of your feelings, and changes the trajectory of your day. For example, “I’m never going to feel better” can trigger gratitude thoughts, “I’m grateful for my warm bed. I’m grateful that I was able to enjoy a delicious warm beverage this morning. I am grateful that the leaves are turning vibrant colors.” It may sound strange, but you can even be grateful for the grief, because in feeling it, you are alive. You are not numb. And when you are not numb, you can also experience joy. It’s waiting for you.

In Gratitude,
Peggy

PS – I always like to mention that while I help people think positively and feel good, this is never at the expense of ignoring our pain. We cannot heal what we do not address, or as I heard the beautiful psychologist Dr. Edith Eger say on Marie Forleo’s podcast, “We cannot heal what we do not feel.” So first allow yourself to FEEL. These methods of positive psychology are methods of moving forward AFTER you have addressed and processed your pain.

PSS – In case you were not able to watch live, the video on coping with anxiety is saved in the facebook group, Peggy’s Tips for Gratitude, Joy, and More. You may view that by clicking here.

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