For your own good – please do not be part of this 9%

Part of my job of being the best psychologist I can be is reading through lots and lots of research articles. I’m grateful for the technology and my professional psychological associations that deliver current, relevant psychology research articles directly to my email every day.

This helps me to be informed to best help you. So that I can deliver relevant, timely content.

One of yesterday’s emails was very upsetting to me. A recent study of how adults are coping with COVID-19 indicated that 9% of people reported that they are simply numbing themselves. Intentionally stopping themselves from FEELING, so they feel NOTHING.

Emotionally flat-lining.

Please do not do this! Please do not be part of this 9%, or make this 9% increase!

I know this is painful. I KNOW this is hard stuff. I know the anxiety, fear, panic is real.

But please keep in mind that what you do to cope today is setting yourself up for your future. And when you numb yourself to cope, you are also unwittingly depriving yourself of joy. And joy IS available to you, even on a difficult day.

All my life, people have asked me what I do “to be so happy.” They are surprised, and maybe even a little disappointed when I reply that one of my “secrets” in being so genuinely happy is that I welcome sadness. I welcome frustration, betrayal, disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t WANT them to come. But I welcome them when they come naturally.

Because I KNOW that my capacity to experience joy is in direct proportion to my ability to experience sorrow. I know that when we deprive ourselves from experiencing painful emotions, we shut ourselves off from the fullness of joy. We emotionally flat-line. I don’t want that for me, and I don’t want that for you.

It is important to FEEL the uncomfortable emotions. Doing so requires: 1) Trust that you will not get “stuck” there, and 2) some tools to help you feel better after you have allowed yourself to experience these painful feelings.

One of my favorite ways to “not get stuck there” is to utilize gratitude.

Part of the beauty of practicing gratitude is that it has 3 conceptual benefits: 1) it works as prevention (when we are grateful we simply notice less of the crummy stuff), 2) it works immediately when we are in the moment practicing gratitude, and 3) we are literally re-wiring our brains to be more positive thinkers, setting ourselves up for more happiness, joy, and fulfillment in life, REGARDLESS of what is going on in our own lives and the world.

My signature talk on gratitude is being requested from schools, businesses, universities, and community groups. I shared some of these ideas when I was asked to be a speaker in World Gratitude Summit, and most recently, I shared them in a facebook live within the facebook group “Peggy’s Tips for Gratitude, Joy, and More.”

If you missed it, or if you’d like to take another look, you can click here to watch the 20 minute video. (If you are not a member, simply go to the group and click “Join”, and I will add you.)

Also, here is a printable summary of the presentation. You can download it, print it, and cut it up into 4 postcards to share with others.

I am grateful to be in a profession dedicated to helping people feel better. This is needed now, more than ever. The most affordable way for you to receive support during this time is through my monthly membership, Come Alive with Dr. Peggy. Of course I am here if you would like individual support as well.

You may click here to check it out, and sign up for just $5. The most affordable way to receive support. You do NOT need to go through this alone. You do NOT need to emotionally flat-line. PLEASE do not be part of that 9%.

I am here to help you process emotions through techniques such as expressive writing and “prescribed worrying”, and I am here to help you cultivate resilience, gratitude, joy, and meaning in your life.  This is what I teach in the membership. Simple, doable, accessible methods that are backed by research in psychology.

That is what we need for a happy, fulfilled life. That is what we need now, more than ever.