Tough Days Will Pass

Ch. 21 Know That Tough Days Will Pass

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” –Robert H. Schuller

Difficult times can feel like they will go on forever and never get better. If you can develop the faith that things will change and improve, you can lift your spirits during difficult times.

Hope for the Future
Looking forward to better days ahead does not take away the pain of today, but there is power in holding on to hope for the future. It’s healing to know in your heart that life will get better. Even if things get worse before they get better, keep trusting that the day will come when you will feel better. You may have to repeat to yourself all day, “This will pass. Tomorrow is a new day.” Every day is a step closer to a positive shift.

Recognize Your Newfound Strength
But if you allow yourself for a moment, just a moment, to recognize the newfound strength that you’ve developed from these experiences, you may gain confidence and feel proud about your growth. Trust that what you are going through is making you stronger and more compassionate and understanding. It’s an opportunity to know deep down that you have these qualities, and that you can draw on them during any future difficulty.

Exert Control
If you have some control—over anything—exert it. In general, people tend to feel depressed when they believe that they don’t have control over a situation. There are so many things we don’t have control over right now. No wonder we’re feeling depressed. We’re human!

If you need inspiration or support, talk to someone who can provide that for you. When we feel out of control, we can help ourselves feel better by taking action, even if it doesn’t impact the overall outcome. Even if you do not have control over a situation, you may have a better perspective about it tomorrow. You do have control over how you think about a situation. Sometimes just knowing that and exerting that power can help you feel better.

Release ‘What If’ Thoughts
What’s more, thinking negatively about the future is wasted energy and only fuels anxiety. It also causes stress and worry. It is filled with “what ifs.” The bottom line is we simply do not know the future, so any time spent worrying about it, unless that is prompting you to take positive action, is precious time lost when we could have been doing something more productive or pleasant.

Focus on the Present Moment
Instead, spend that mental energy focusing on the present. What can you enjoy in the moment? If you have difficulty thinking about something positive, get basic. Focusing on the present keeps the mind from wandering and thinking awful thoughts and helps to decrease stress and worry. For instance, put your attention on something that is pleasing to your eye. Focus on someone reaching out and showing love. Concentrate on the taste of a favorite beverage.

You can also shift your thoughts (and hence your feelings) from worrying about the future to planning what you can do now to bring about the most desired outcomes. For example, if you are feeling uneasy because you have a large project at work, you can outline steps that you need to take each day as you work toward your goal.

Find the Good (Even if You Have to Look Hard)
You can learn to focus on the good that shows up in a terrible situation. This can feel tough. It may not seem right to try to find something positive out of a tragic situation. But you will feel better if you can find even one good thing that has come out of what first feels devastating. It may be the support and love shown by those around you. It may be a recognition and celebration of your inner strength. Finding something positive in a tragic situation or life challenge takes a lot of effort, so if it doesn’t feel right today, let it go and try again another time. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Make a point to do something enjoyable every day, even if it is only for five minutes, and even if you have to force yourself to do it. During these times, self-care may feel impossible to do. You may have lost motivation. You may feel like you don’t have time, or you don’t have energy. Your physical condition may have changed.

Take Care of Your Emotional Needs
There are many ways of taking care of your emotional needs. One of them is to talk to someone about what you are going through. Call a trusted friend or consult with a professional. Acknowledging your feelings is an important way of taking care of yourself. This is simply because we cannot heal what we do not acknowledge and address.

Another way of caring for your emotional needs and managing stress involves exercise or meditation. Sit down in a comfortable chair and do some deep breathing. Or listen to a guided meditation. Do yoga or go for a walk, run, or bike ride. Take a relaxing bath. Whatever you do, it should be something that makes you feel good during the activity and when you’re finished.

These and many more simple, doable methods, along with the related research and relatable stories in FEELING Good: Thirty-Five Proven Ways to Happiness, Even During Tough Times.

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