Four Ways of Thinking That Increase Anxiety
Lots of people experiencing anxiety these days. I’m helping people in my 30-Day Anxiety Relief program with different ways to cope with anxiety. This particular lesson that I recently developed for the program is relevant to many people, so I thought I’d share with you, a valued member of my newsletter list.
Often, it’s our thoughts that contribute to anxiety. Here are four common ways of thinking that lead to anxiety and simply make you feel crummy! It is worth your time and energy to recognize when you’re engaging in these unhelpful thinking patterns.
Comparing yourself to other people.
It is a natural tendency to compare yourself to others. In fact, according to Social Comparison Theory (Leon Festinger), it is part of normal child development. However, as we get older, when we compare ourselves to others, we end up feeling bad. You may be happy with a situation in your life, and then as soon as you compare yourself to someone else in a similar situation, it zaps your happiness. Or it can make you feel like you have not done something right, or make you feel that you have overlooked something and not done it at all! But the truth is, we’re all on different paths. You do not need to compare yourself to someone else to see where you need to be.
Quote – “Comparison is the thief of joy.” (Theodore Roosevelt) Well, it’s also the thief of peace.
Taking things personally.
What other people say and do has nothing to do with you. The more you can grasp this concept and not take anyone’s words or actions personally, the less anxious, and happier, you will be. I know, I know. Easier said than done. A great book to help put this in to practice is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, specifically the chapter, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” This is something that most people need to work on every day. Read this chapter on the days when you’re having a hard time with this. You will decrease your anxiety when you are no longer concerned that anyone’s behavior or words has anything to do with you. I believe this is crucial for happiness – so this concept made it into my book as well.
Quote – “Not taking things personally is a super power.” James Clear
Making assumptions.
So much time and energy is wasted on making assumptions. Our brains tend to think negatively (negativity bias), so when we are uncertain about something, we often put a negative spin on it. We then get caught up negative thoughts which contribute to unnecessary anxiety, worrying about something that isn’t even true!
Quote – “Don’t make assumptions. Because when you assume, you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’!”
Negative self-talk.
So often, the thoughts that are running through your head about yourself are negative. These negative thoughts tend to gain momentum and fuel anxiety. Work on becoming more aware of the negative self-talk, and work on replacing these with positive thoughts about yourself that you believe to be true.
Quote – “Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” Lisa Hayes
You are not alone if you are experiencing anxiety. Your children are not alone if they are experiencing anxiety. I have several bracelets on my Mental Health line that are specifically designed to be a wearable reminder to engage in thoughts and behaviors that help reduce anxiety. The newest addition is the Anxiety Relief Bracelet.
If you/your child needs some assistance with coping with anxiety upon the return to school, I am running the 30-Day Anxiety Relief program again September 1 – September 30. Purchase of this program comes with a free Anxiety Relief Bracelet.
Feel free to contact me if you or someone you love is in need of more personalized assistance coping with anxiety. We can determine if I can provide you with 1:1 service, or I can help connect you with someone who can.
Peggy
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