The Often-Missed Key to a Truly Positive Mindset

You’ve probably heard the advice: Think positive. Stay upbeat. Look on the bright side.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to know deeply as a psychologist and as a woman who walks beside others through the real, raw parts of life:
​Maintaining a positive mindset is so much more than positive thinking.

A truly positive mindset includes joy, gratitude, purpose—but it also includes pain.

That’s why I created a visual framework I call The Positive Mindset Grid. It outlines the four necessary components of a sustainable, resilient mindset. One of those quadrants—the one many people skip over—is the feeling, processing, and releasing of emotional pain.

📄 Contact me if you’d like a copy of my worksheet: “The Positive Mindset Grid.”

I’m often asked: “What can I do to actually feel and release pain instead of avoiding it?”​
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Below are some science-supported, soul-nourishing methods that can help. You may be familiar with some—and others might surprise you.

🖊️ Journaling

The research is clear: journaling is more than “dear diary.”
Studies show it can:
• Increase emotional awareness
• Diminish the intensity of painful feelings
• Help you make sense of your experiences and gain clarity

Recommended Reading:

• Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions by Dr. James Pennebaker
• Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain by Pennebaker
• Expressive Writing: Words that Heal by Pennebaker & Dr. John Evans

📄 Contact me if you’d like a copy of my worksheet: “Journal to Heal and Feel.”

🚶 Walking

Yes—walking. It’s more powerful than you might think.
Neuroscientist Shane O’Mara explains that walking engages the brain in a way that improves cognitive processing and emotional regulation. It boosts mood, reduces stress, and creates space for reflection.

Recommended Listening & Reading:

• In Praise of Walking by Shane O’Mara
• Mel Robbins Podcast, Ep. 88: The Shocking Science and Benefits of Taking a Simple Walk
• Feel Better Live More Podcast, Ep. 84: Why Walking Is the Super Power You Didn’t Know You Had

📄 Want to go deeper? Ask me for my worksheet: “It’s So Much More Than Just a Walk.”

🗣️ Talking to a Trusted Friend or Therapist

Connection is healing—but how we connect matters.
Talking through your emotions with someone who truly listens can help you process feelings and gain new perspectives. Just be cautious: endless venting can reinforce pain instead of resolving it.

Recommended Resources:

• Huberman Lab Podcast: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence, 9/9/24
• The Happiness Lab: PJ and Alex Love to Gripe, 5/4/20

😢 Crying

Sometimes, the most honest response is the healthiest one.
Crying lowers stress hormones, calms the body, and releases endorphins. It allows us to move through our emotions rather than getting stuck in them.

📄 I created a tool for this too: “Tears Are Healing”—just reply to request it.

In a world that often tells us to suppress our pain and slap on a smile, I invite you to honor your full emotional experience.
That’s not weakness. That’s strength.
That’s the foundation of a positive mindset that lasts.

Here are 2 additional resources that will convince you that embracing and feeling all of your emotions leads to a fulfilling and truly happy life:

• Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, PhD.
• Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain

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With warmth and science-backed encouragement,
​Dr. Peggy DeLong​
​The Gratitude Psychologist | Midlife Awakening Coach

P.S. If you’d like any of the worksheets mentioned above, just send me a message (peggy@drpeggydelong.com) and let me know which one(s) you’d like:

• Positive Mindset Grid
• Journal to Heal and Feel​
• It’s So Much More Than Just a Walk
• Tears Are Healing

Join us in The Midlife Awakening Sisterhood – where we cover this, and so much more! A 3-month program where you’ll be supported by me in what truly works, connect with other amazing midlife women in the program, and finally experience the peace you’ve been longing for.